Letters to Vi
by Anonymous Crazy Girl
Summary: Following her therapist's advice, Caitlyn starts writing letters addressed to Vi in order to be able to talk to someone about her feelings and her thoughts, though she doesn't intend of ever sending them. Sequel to 'Letters to Cupcake'.
1. Letter 1

_Dear Vi,_

_I'm going to start this letter with a small disclaimer. I'm not planning on ever sending you these for the simple reason that this is supposed to be some sort of coping mechanism against all the pressure I'm receiving. My therapist suggested that I talked about it with someone I trust and you are the only one who I trust with my life. It's just that you never know of some of the things I'm planning on writing on those letters - if I'm going to write more than one._

_I still recall the first time I've heard about you. There wasn't even a name, just a vigilant that beat up other criminals and left there for us to find, albeit robbed. But this was the least of my concerns. I knew I had to find you because you were different. You've always been, Vi, whether you realize it or not._

_I had been planning the whole thing for months and that's why I kept an eye on you. It was a good excuse for me to get out of my office and do something meaningful for a change. I couldn't trust anyone else. They wouldn't understand. I had so much trouble with persuading my superiors and the mayor himself because all of them had their doubts. I took personal responsibility for you. It was risky but I was aware that they wouldn't otherwise allow your enrollment to the police department. But they made sure I went through hell to make this work legally. The amount of paperwork I had to fill in was overwhelming even for myself._

_Then, I proceeded with my plan. I met you at the abandoned storage completely alone. It seemed reckless but I reckoned you would have trusted me if I had brought company. I was willing to risk it in order to win over your trust and I was well aware that this wasn't going to be an easy task whatsoever. I preferred to fail and get punished for it rather than not win your trust. If you did beat me up that night, I could try again. But breaking your trust would irreversible._

_I was surprised when you listened to me but I was more surprised at myself. I had a small speech prepared but at the last moment I decided against it. I had forgotten that you were different and you didn't need someone to speak prepared words. You needed to listen to the truth and maybe I needed to listen to the truth coming from my own mouth. I admired you a lot Vi and I still do up to this day because you show such a compassion and such a passion for your work and bringing justice even if you grew up on the wrong side of the law. That's what makes you special, Vi. Most of my officers don't even have the same sense of justice as you do._

_I catch myself contemplating about you a lot and I don't know why. It's not mere admiration, it's something else, bigger than that. I'm not sure if I want to find out what it is. Maybe this time I'm too scared to find out the truth._

_Yours, Caitlyn_


	2. Letter 2

_Dear Vi,_

_You can be such an easy book to read sometimes. You were never really good at hiding your feelings, especially not around me. But you've also been more sentimental than I would ever wish to be._

_I know just how jealous you can get around Jayce and that really showed the other day. Distaste was written all over your face, and if I wasn't there, I'm pretty sure you would have punched him the face. Hard. I totally get that he can be really annoying with his flirting, especially knowing that I'm not interested, but he's also a friend and I could never be rude to him, for the sake of me. My mother taught me better than that and if I was to misbehave I'm pretty sure she would have had a stroke. You, on the other hand, wouldn't hesitate to tell him to 'fuck off'. Another trait of yours that I admire; your honesty._

_I'm flattered by the fact that you care about me and my well-being. Not a lot of people would care about their boss like that. Or get jealous, if you catch me._

_This game we are playing, is dangerous. But there's nothing in my power that I can do._

_Yours, Caitlyn_


	3. Letter 3

_Dear Vi,_

_I don't know exactly how to put this in words but I'm really, really concerned about you. After that self-proclaimed Jinx showed up in Piltover, you've been distant and acting very strangely. I wish you would talk to me before I feel like there's something you're not telling me._

_Don't you trust me? Are you scared of me? Do you think I will care any less about you or that I will kick you out back in the streets if I find out the truth? Are you ashamed? Do you think I'm going to judge you? I have the gut feeling that you know Jinx, better than anyone else. She must be connected with your past in Zaun, and it's probably the reason why you won't talk to me. And it hurts, it really hurts because I want to help you, Vi. I really do. Because I care about you more than I dare admit, even to myself._

_Please stay safe._

_Yours, Caitlyn_


	4. Letter 4

_Dear Vi,_

_Introducing you to the League must have been the most correct decision in my life. Since you joined, you've caused less extended damage around the city than I could ever hope for, which is a great relief. I suppose that this helps you blow off some steam._

_You've also made some new friends, which I'm happy for. I personally don't really approve of your connections with Noxus but I guess you're similar to them in some ways. And for some reason, you've chosen to befriend Tryndamere. I suppose your uproarious personalities match perfectly. If I want to be honest, I prefer Ashe. She's a good marsman and a very interesting companion. But again, just my opinion. I'm glad you're able to expand your horizons and take some revenge against Jinx._

_There's something that has been bothering me, though. It makes my heart feel heavy whenever we are matched against each other. I would never, ever pull the trigger against you, Vi, but here we are at the Summoner's Rift, me shooting you and shutting you down. It really hurts me because I would never harm you in any way. I strived to protect you and keep you safe from the monsters in our city and now I got to be the one to kill you in the Rift, even though I know it's not real._

_Stars, everything hurts._

_Always yours, Caitlyn_


	5. Letter 5

_Dear Vi,_

_I know how much you hate social events and trust me, so do I. We are police officers for crying out loud, not some celebrities. Unfortunately, I can't get us off the hook. The Mayor's Christmas Ball is a very important event and I'm surprised he actually bothered to invite you. He isn't exactly fond of you. Maybe he was scared that I'd confront him._

_Believe me when I say that I'd rather be anywhere else that stuck in place where I'm supposed to pretend that I am someone that I really am not, surrounded by people that are observing my every move. But as long as you're there with me, I don't mind one bit._

_Always yours, Caitlyn_


	6. Letter 6

_Dear Vi,_

_Last night was a disaster, up to a point and after at least. Stars, why was I such an idiot?_

_On the bright side, you looked absolutely stunning in your white suit. I might have peeked over at you more times that I would ever admit because you really captured me last night. The event was exactly what I had expected it to be, with the difference that you were there and made everything better. You made me feel so comfortable, I even flirted back, which isn't something I usually do because I didn't want to get your hopes up. But maybe it was the alcohol running in my veins, maybe because you looked so good or maybe a combination of both, I forgot for a moment where I stood and who I was with. It was just you and me, no one else. We danced together and I'm still dreaming about it like some school-girl. And when we went out to take some fresh air, that's when I absolutely screwed up._

_I kissed you under the godforsaken mistletoe. I'm not exactly sure why, but at that moment it felt like the right thing to do. And as guilty as I am, I still enjoyed it._

_We grabbed a cab and you brought me home and if it weren't of you, things would have escalated rather quickly and now I would probably feel ten times shittier than I do now. I'm so proud of you, you know._

_I wish I wasn't that scared. Or maybe I'm not. At least, that's what last night's events proved. I want to make something of this situation but I know we can't. The society will never accept us and I would never jeopardize your job, I know how much you love it and I really do care about you, Vi. But at the same time, I've always been too scared to claim what I wanted and right now what I want is you and you only. I don't want to spend the rest of my days being miserable and contemplating about all those what if's. Is this too selfish of me?_

_Always yours, Caitlyn_


	7. Letter 7

_Dear Vi,_

_While I'm writing this down, you're lying unconscious on a hospital bed and I'm having a severe anxiety attack. I'm writing this as a measure to try and calm myself down because this was just too much for me to handle._

_When you got between the crossfire to protect me from Jinx, I had my heart break into a million pieces. Seeing you laid on the road bleeding out hurt so, so much. I don't remember much from that moment, I believe I was in too much shock and I still am. Since then, I had three anxiety attacks and that's the fourth. The current one is the worst case I had in years._

_You've been distant lately and I know exactly why. It's because I fucked up big time and I totally understood it but at the same time I didn't. I always knew you had some sort of feelings for me but now that I return them, you decided to be cold. It's just didn't make sense to me. My only guess is that you were probably scared and I don't expect blame you. But your actions today proved that you really don't want this to be an one time thing. I'm so bewildered. But right now it's not the time to solve this._

_I don't have much time before I need to return back to the field and fix what Jinx left behind. But before I go, I need to tell you this even if you won't read this; I truly love you so much, Vi. I wish one day I'll have the courage to tell you in person._

_Always yours, Caitlyn_


	8. Letter 8

_Dear Vi,_

_It's been a while since I wrote you a letter but I just wanted mention that everyone knows about us. But the greatest relief of them all was my parents' approval. In all honesty, I didn't expect it. In their eyes, you're a big bear that's going to protect me from any harm, like you did just a while ago._

_But I really don't want you to get yourself in danger for me and I can't stress that enough. Whenever I bring it up, you shrug me off with a kiss on the forehead and instead of getting mad at you, I get all flustered. That's how much you affect me, Vi, my love._

_I took a decision. At the beginning, I said that I wouldn't show you these letters, ever. But I think it's time you do because in my head it's the right thing to do._

_Please remember that I love you, always._

_Always yours, Caitlyn_


End file.
